Stupid Cupid
by Ice-avenged
Summary: Kurt never gets anything on Valentines Day. He cant send anything either. Well he's not going to lie down and take it anymore. Kurt has realised just how many people dont get the Valentines Day they deserve. Kurt becomes his friends' personal Cupid.


**I don't own Glee!**

Kurt had no time for Valentines Day. He had never gotten anything from a real admirer. Sure there were those few unlucky girls who hadn't realised he was gay. A few years ago a girl in his Art class had sent him a card so sickeningly sappy that he could barley read it, (needless to say he had transferred to Home Economics after that incident) last year Mercedes had sent him his favourite moisturizer then cried when he hadn't given her anything… then busted his window. Those just didn't count to Kurt! It was like kissing Brittany. No, as far as Kurt was concerned, Dave Karofsky had been his first kiss.

Kurt couldn't send valentine gifts either. The receivers of the gifts would be ridiculed. The guys called gay and the girls called hags. He hated it. One day a year people could send things to their crushes without it being embarrassing. But not Kurt. Not in the one horse town that is Lima.

Well this year, he wasn't going to stand for it. He wouldn't receive anything of course, he never did. But he would send them!

He would give Brittany something first. She was priority. It made him extremely angry that he would probably be the only person who would send her anything. Well, Santana would get her something, but she would never confess to it. Every other boy who knew Brittany only saw the girl as an object, something to be used and then discarded or passed on to someone else, not worth buying gifts for, not special enough… like him.

Come to think of it, there were a lot of people who Kurt had never seen get anything on Valentines Day. Mercedes, who had never had a boyfriend, Puck, who was a self proclaimed "sex shark" and not thought of as boyfriend (or even valentine) material, Lauren Zizes, she terrified people, they were all to afraid to talk to her, let alone date her, Dave, Kurt had no idea what to do about him, like, no idea at all and he couldn't forget Rachel, she had been bullied for years, even Kurt had let the Ice-Bitch routine go a little too far when she was concerned, Finn was too clueless to get her anything that she would actually want, so Kurt would.

Kurt was going to be their personal Cupid. But, he wasn't sure if he could do it alone. Kurt was calling in the Warblers.

"So does everyone know what they have to do?" Kurt asked. He had driven to Dalton and asked Blaine to get all the Warblers to the choir room. He had explained about all of the people at McKinley who were under appreciated. They had made a plan, pooled money, called all kinds of companies and talked to the school (and yes, that is code for they hade bribed Figgins to let certain people skip school).

"Operation Cupid begins tomorrow morning!"

Rachel Berry hared Valentine's Day. She never got anything, not once. But she could never stop herself from hoping. She had a boyfriend now, but Finn was clueless, he probably wouldn't even get her anything.

So when she woke up on Valentines Day, Rachel couldn't bring herself to be excited or even care. The only indicator that she even knew it wasn't just any other day was that she was wearing a red sweater adorned with a huge pink heart on the front. She was just putting a heart shaped hair slide in her hair when she heard one of her dads shout up to her. "Erm, Rachel?" he called, "yes, daddy?" she replied. "You might want to see this!"

Awe. That was the only thing in Rachel's mind. There, in her driveway, was a limo. A bright pink limo with red hearts splashed across it and the words "From Cupid" painted on the hood. There was no way this was from Finn.

Lauren Zizes looked at herself in the mirror; she could understand why she had never gotten a valentine. She wasn't pretty and she didn't exactly have a body to make up for her lacking beauty. Puck was showing slight interest in her, but that was probably some cruel joke, he would pull the rug out from under her feet soon enough. She scowled at her reflection, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

A limo? Puck was going a little far with this. Wait, no way would Puck pick out a pink and red limo. A head poked out the window, "Lauren!" cried Rachel Berry "isn't it wonderful!". Lauren dazedly walked to the limo. "Who sent it?" she whispered. "I don't know!" Rachel told the girl "all that was in here was a note saying that we were picking up some others and that we had to change before we would be taken to our destination!". "Change?" Lauren asked, "Yup, there are clothes in here!". Lauren shrugged and got into the limo.

Noah Puckerman wasn't a romance kind of guy, at least that's what people seemed to think. He had never stayed with anyone long enough to actually treat her to a romantic Valentines Day. He wanted to give Lauren a romantic Valentines Day, but she wouldn't even talk to him. He sighed and bent to tie his shoes.

_Beep beep._ "PUCK! PUUUUUUUUCK!" what the hell? Puck ran to his front door and tore it open. There, in his driveway was a pink and red limo. Holy shit. Lauren was leaning against the closed door of the limo and Rachel was hanging out the top yelling his nickname at the top of her voice.

"What the hell is all of this?" he asked Lauren. She shrugged and motioned for him to enter the car. He did, but only because it was Lauren who had asked.

Mercedes was pissed off; first of all, her dad had called her to say that there was no way he was getting home for another two weeks at least. Secondly, Kurt wasn't answering his goddamn cell phone. Thirdly, it was Valentines Day and, guess what? She didn't have a date! She was supposed to have a date with Kurt but her little white boy wouldn't pick up! Not a good start to the da- "YO ARETHA!" what in the world was that?

Mercedes looked out her window and gaped at the sight of Noah Puckerman, in a tuxedo, leaning against a pink and red limousine. She saw Lauren Zizes leaning out a window dressed in what looked like a VERY expensive black dress and Rachel Berry protruding from the top of the aforementioned limo in a stunning, strapless, red dress.

O.k., maybe this Valentines Day wasn't going to suck as bad as the others had.

Brittany was confused. Not in her normal I-really-don't-understand-this-please-help-me kind of confused. She just didn't know why her dolphin didn't just tell them it was him doing all of this for them. Kurtie liked attention, right? So why not tell them.

She had been scolding her cat for reading her diary (again) when a car horn had sounded outside. Brittany didn't like car horns, they were too loud, and so she had gone to ask the car if he could please be quiet. But it wasn't a car, it was a limo (they aren't the same, right?)

Anyway, Puck, Mercedes, Rachel and Lauren were all in the limo (they were all dressed really pretty too). Kurtie had left a note. The note said to wait until there were five people in the limo (all changed into the pretty clothes). Brittany looked around and counted. Ok, Rachel, Lauren, Mercedes, Puck… four. "Guys?" she started, "there's only four of you, who else is coming?". Rachel took one of her hands, "Brittany, sweetie, you count" she pointed out everyone in turn, "one,two,three,four, and you makes it five". "Oh, o.k, thanks Rachel!" Brittany chirped.

Everything was going to plan. The Loveless were on the way to the destination. The Lovers were also on their way. Kurt looked over his notes.

Brittany Susan Pierce

Status: Loveless

Reason: Girlfriend unwilling to be outed

Lover: Santana Lopez

Relationship Status: Painfully Closeted

Noah "Puck" Puckerman

Status: Loveless/Lover

Reason: "Sex Shark"

Lover: Lauren Zizes

Relationship Status: Slowly Progressing but in Need of a Push

Lauren Zizes

Status: Loveless/Lover

Reason: Self Conscious

Lover: Noah "Puck" Puckerman

Relationship Status: Slowly Progressing but in Need of a Push

Rachel Berry

Status: Loveless

Reason: Clueless (Soon to be Ex) Boyfriend

Lover: Jesse St James

Relationship Status: Hate Masking Love

Mercedes Jones

Status: Loveless

Reason: Unknown

Lover: Matt Rutherford

Relationship Status: Nonexistent but Perfect for Each Other

Dave Karofsky

Status: Loveless

Reason: Closeted and Intimidating

Lover-

"Hey Kurt!" Kurt looked up from his notes as he heard his name. "Yeah?" he called back. "The Lovers are here!". Kurt sighed and stood up. Outside the door was a white limousine covered with pink hearts. Four Warblers exited it pulling a bewildered Matt Rutherford, a struggling Jesse St James, a confused Dave Karofsky and a furious Santana Lopez with them.

Dave had no idea what was going on. He had been walking to school with his hand in his pocket, clutching the present that was meant to go to Kurt today, if he hadn't transferred that is. He was almost there when he had been grabbed from behind and pulled into a limo. Really, a big white limo with pink hearts on it.

There were four guys who were in Dalton uniform (Dave may have looked up the school to make sure Kurt really would be happy there), Matt Rutherford, donning a dark blue suit with a black tie, Santana Lopez in a yellow dress and a guy who Dave was pretty sure had been in the Glee club for a while, in a black suit with a red tie. Dave himself was given a black suit with a pink tie which he couldn't help but notice was the same colour as Kurt's blush. The Dalton guys seemed to notice his nostalgia as they smirked at each other.

The limo pulled up outside a new hotel which had been booked solid for the three weeks it had been opened. Not that Dave had checked or anything...

Dave, Matt, Jesse and Santana were pulled out of the limo and pushed into the lobby. They were marched into a private room full of two person tables. Most of them were full of Dalton guys with their girlfriends and boyfriends. Dave was sat at a table in the corner, Matt was given a table near the door, Santana was sat at a table near a window and Jesse was placed right in the middle of the room.

It didn't take long for the boys to realise that the guys were wearing ties that matched their dates dress or suit. Dave looked around for someone dressed in pink. A tiny spark of hope ignited within him as he remembered what he had compared the colour of his tie to.

Rachel was nervous. She had no idea what was going on. A limo turns up in her driveway in the morning and by eleven am; she was in a gorgeous dress, with her make up done and sitting outside a fancy hotel in a limo with Mercedes Jones, Lauren Zizes, Noah Puckerman and Brittany Pierce.

"Ok, look at you're clothes" a curly haired guy told them, they obeyed, "your dress… or tie" he added, looking at Puck. "Will match your dates dress or tie once you get in there". They nodded.

They entered the private room; Rachel looked around for Finn, but didn't see him. She continued to search until she heard her name, "Rachel?" she turned and found the source of the call. "Jesse?" her shock quickly turned to anger when she saw his red tie. "Oh, hell no!". She turned to storm out of the room but once she reached the lobby she was grabbed by a pair of very soft hands and dragged to a sofa

The person pushed her down to sit. She looked up at her assailant. She saw Kurt Hummel in a bright pink suit and a pair of white angel wings, his hair was red and he was clutching a bow and arrow.

"Rachel?" he asked her, "what's wrong?". "M-my date!" she stuttered, "its J- Jesse!". Kurt nodded "yes, I know". "You knew?" she shrieked. "Rachel, who do you think organized all of this?" he smirked. She gaped at him, "you? The- the dresses? The limo? The hotel?". Kurt winked at her "all me sweetheart, plus, I picked all of the dates! I split everyone into Loveless and Lovers and paired you all up. So trust me, let Jesse explain himself. Ok?" Rachel nodded silently. "Good girl!" he pulled her up and they walked hand in hand to the "Love Lounge" as Kurt had named it.

"Rachel! I am so sorry" Jesse pled with the diva, "I had to Rach! It was egging you or Shelby would make sure you could never work on Broadway! I understand if you never want to talk to me again"

"Jesse? Rachel interjected. "Yeah?" he asked. "Shut up" Rachel replied, bringing her lips to his.

Kurt sent Rachel on her way and turned to look at the couples. Wes and David were laughing as usual, but each had a spark in their eye that hadn't been there before. Mercedes and Matt were each leaning on one hand, staring at each other. Rachel and Jesse were making up… well, more like making out, but still, Kurt didn't think they were fighting anymore. Brittany was in Santana's lap. Lauren and Noah were talking with their hands intertwined. Blaine was giggling at his date's antics. And Dave was… being gorgeous, as usual.

Kurt sighed. Too busy staring to notice when Wes and David stood until they stood behind him and spoke in unison "go!", they urged, "talk to him!". "I can't!" Kurt insisted. "Why not?" David asked, concerned "the evil butterflies in my stomach won't let me!" he exclaimed. The two friends started laughing riotously. The laughter drew Dave's attention. He looked up, catching Kurt's eye. Kurt very nearly swooned when Dave's face broke into a huge grin. "I think we'll leave you two lovebirds alone" David whispered into Kurt's ear.

"I swear to God, Matty", Mercedes told the boy.

"No way, you can't be serious!". Mercedes giggle and lifted a spoon from the table in front of her. "You cannot balance that thing on your nose!" Matt insisted. Mercedes quirked an eyebrow, breathed on the spoon and placed it on her nose before sitting back in her chair trying not to laugh at the expression on her date's face.

"Sanny?" Brittany asked. "Yes Britt?" she asked. "If Kurt is a dolphin, then what are we?". Santana seized the other girl's hand.

"We're nothing sweetheart, we aren't a label, we are just us!" the Latina told her date. Brittany stood and plonked herself into Santana's lap. "ok" she replied as she nuzzled her head into Santana's neck.

"I really do like you, Lauren" Noah told his date.

"Yeah, I know" Lauren replied whilst playing with their intertwined fingers.

"I know I've never exactly been a nice guy, but I would, for you". Lauren blushed and looked him in the eye.

"I'll hold you to that" she whispered.

Kurt stared at the box in his lap. "What is it?" he asked Dave. Dave mimed zipping his lips and motioned for Kurt to open the box. Kurt took a moment to examine the wrappings. Black paper adorned with little pink and red hearts, a ribbon was tied in an intricate bow. Not exactly the kind of thing you would associate with the larger boy. Kurt carefully untied the bow before (much to his date's amusement) he tied the ribbon around his wrist. He then tore into the paper and took a deep breath before lifting the lid of the box.

Tears sprung to his eyes. There, inside the box, was a little porcelain couple. A wedding topper. His parents wedding topper to be precise. But not exactly. When the topper had been in Kurt's possession it had looked worse for wear. The paint was dull, the porcelain chipped in places and the bride missing a hand. But now, now it was perfect. The couple had been painted to look like his mother and father. It was exact, right down to the eye colour.

Dave bit his lip as tears leaked from Kurt's eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Had the wedding topper been too much? Had he upset Kurt? Maybe he should apologise. "Kurt" he started, only to be silenced by a pair of lips against his own. Dave was stunned for a second, but soon began to kiss back. Kurt smiled into the kiss and pulled back, seating himself in Dave's lap and resting his head against his date's chest.

"Happy Valentines Day Dave" Kurt whispered. Dave chuckled and kissed the top of Kurt's head.

"Happy Valentines Day Cupid."

**Don't you just love cheesy stories? :') I didn't get anything this year guys, give me some reviews to make up for it!**


End file.
